"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." - VoltairE

Showing Tag: "funny" (Show all posts)

A few faith-based funnies

Posted by Anne Witton on Thursday, June 13, 2019, In : Random stuff 


A minister decided to visit his church members one Saturday. At one particular house it was clear that someone was home, but nobody came to the door. The minister knocked several times and finally took out his card and wrote on the back: 

Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me." 

The next day the same card showed up in the collection plate. Below the minister’s message was another s...

Continue reading ...
 

If students wrote the Bible

Posted by Anne Witton on Monday, October 5, 2015, In : Random stuff 


  • Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
  • The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning, cold.
  • The forbidden fruit would still have been eaten because anything is better than the food in halls.
  • Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to believers@romans.gov
  • Reason Cain killed Abel: they were living in the one bedsit and the dishes weren't getting done.
  • The t...

Continue reading ...
 

Where do you weigh a pie?

Posted by Anne Witton on Tuesday, December 9, 2014, In : Random stuff 
...Somewhere over the rainbow!

I love a good cracker joke and have been collecting up favourites to share with you. Enjoy!



Q. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A. Because they were two deer.

Q. How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed?
A. You've got three extra hoes.

Q. What's the most popular Christmas wine?
A. 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

Q. What operating system do Advent calendars use?
A. Windows 24

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. Fsh!

Q. Why are horse-dra...

Continue reading ...
 
 

Tags

"loving god' commandment relationship 40th activity acts addiction adoption aesop agapé android animation anxiety apologetics app apps argument aroma atheism audio ben folds bible bible characters bible narrative bible study bible trading cards big picture birthday blog body of christ book book review books busyness celebration celibacy celtic change charity chart child children christ christendom christmas church church history climate change coastguard colouring comedy commentary communications communion community compassion conference consumerism contemplation conversation coronavirus covenant creation creation care creativity cross crucifixtion culture cwtch daily prayer data debate devotional diagram dictionary digital disagreement disciples discipleship discussion documentary easter education elder brother emotion enemies environment environmentalism ethics evangelism event evidence ezekiel fable facebook fair trade faith faitheism father fear feast feeling fellowship feminism fiction film fireseeds flesh flourishing food foodbank freedom freshers fun fundraiser funny galatians game gay gay wedding generosity gifts giving god god's presence good good news gospel gospreflection grace gratitude great commission green growth guitar hagar health heart heaven history hoarding holy biscuit holy spirit home homosexuality hope hopelessness hospitality house hub humour hymn identity in individualism infographics inheritance insurance interviews ios jesus joel joke jonah joseph justice kindness kingdom kingdom of god law leaflet lectio divina lennox lesbian levite lgbtq library literature liturgy living out lord’s love magazine map mark mark's materialism maturity meal meditation meditations memory mental health ministry mission missionaries moral morality move music nation new year newcomers news non-fiction north east old testament online outreach palm sunday parable passover persecution perspective philosophy photo photography piano picture this thought podcast poem political correctness pool night possessions post-christendom poverty power praise prayer prayer requests preaching presentation presents priest princess anne priorities prodigal son productivity project provision psalm publicity puzzle questions quiz quotes reading rebellion redemption reference reflection relationship relationships relativism religion remembrance repentance rescue resource resources rest resurrection retreat review reviews riches right and wrong royalty rules rush sabbath sacrifice same-sex attraction sarah scholarship science scripture scripture engagement secularism seed self esteem sermon sermon on the mount sex sharing faith shopping showcase significance silence simplicity sin slavery smell social social action social media society software solitude song songs sonship soularium spiritual gifts spirituality stations of the cross stats stewardship stone story stott student student life students study suffering supper support support discovery talk tech technology temple tft thank you thanksgiving theology time tools top trumps trading cards training transformation translation treasure treasure hunt trivia true freedom trust unity update value video vine visual walk war wealth website websites wesley witnessing women words world worry worship worth wrong wycliffe ywam